ddworak's Xanga

where to find me

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 12:54:22 GMT

http://www.lookbackmoveforward.blogspot.com/

I'm moving....

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 16:25:16 GMT

Not literally....but my blog is! I will post my new blog address once I finalize the title/address/etc.

Being a woman.

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:13:25 GMT

Every now and then I feel a complete urge to rant about the world around me.

This weekend, I was dismayed when I kept hearing that there was a competition brewing between the release of "Sex and the City" and the second weekend of "Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull." The reports kept saying SATC was the "women's" movie and they were going to see how it fared compared to "Indiana Jones" a movie dominated by male viewers. Would men be "dragged" to see SATC as women are "dragged" to see Indiana Jones?

WHAT?!? Now, I do not doubt that SATC will ultimately attract mostly women audiences because of the nature of the show (4 lead women characters) and few men will have interest in that movie. But really, Indiana Jones is a "guys" flick? The Indiana Jones series is one of my selection of movies of ALL TIME! No one would ever have to "drag" me to see Indiana Jones, The Bourne Series, Star Wars, National Treasure - type movies. I kind of assumed those movies appealed to all people....men and women....and never classified them as a guy's equivalent to a "chick flick." I don't know...that just bothered me.

Then, just a moment ago, I came upon the following snippet about Mark Driscoll regarding his interpretation of 1 Timothy 2:12-14 - According to Driscoll -

Without blushing, Paul is simply stating that when it comes to leading in the church, women are unfit because they are more gullible and easier to deceive than men. While many irate women have disagreed with his assessment through the years, it does appear from this that such women who fail to trust his instruction and follow his teaching are much like their mother Eve and are well-intended but ill-informed. . . Before you get all emotional like a woman in hearing this, please consider the content of the women’s magazines at your local grocery store that encourages liberated women in our day to watch porno with their boyfriends, master oral sex for men who have no intention of marrying them, pay for their own dates in the name of equality, spend an average of three-fourths of their childbearing years having sex but trying not to get pregnant, and abort 1/3 of all babies – and ask yourself if it doesn’t look like the Serpent is still trolling the garden and that the daughters of Eve aren’t gullible in pronouncing progress, liberation, and equality.

Oh my. Where do I begin with that!?! Ummmmm, hello, Mr. Driscoll? Have you not seen the male equivalent of women's magazines on the stand with scantily clad women on their covers and articles that read about male performance, male size and other really "important" matters. I believe Men are equally gullible as women when it comes to reading material they choose to purchase and read. PLEASE!

Goodness! That just makes me so mad. I would love to exchange words with Mark Driscoll some day. Maybe take some Mixed Martial Arts classes (MMA) and challenge him to a fight in the octagon.

Toe-dipping

Fri, 02 May 2008 01:50:30 GMT

I am a toe-dipper. I rarely throw caution to the wind and "plunge" right in. But, there are some situations in life where toe-dipping no longer helps you. You just have stick your foot in, then your torso, and submerge your whole body underwater. How else are you ever going to know that water is, indeed, really nice? Sometimes, if you choose not to take the plunge, you'll end up still sitting on the side of the pool.

Weather

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 23:59:56 GMT

For anyone who reads the updates on my Facebook status, it comes as no surprise that I don't get along well with Minnesota weather conditions. I wish I did. I wish I was one who could be happy with bare trees and dormant, leafless plants 7 months out of the year. I wish I could be happy with an 18 degree wind chill at the end of April. It's not that I am an unhappy person. It's just in the doldrums of the Winter months, I lament. I lament that I have less energy to do "fun" things in life. At the brink of every winter, I say to myself: Danielle, why don't you host a couple parties to help get you through winter!? Danielle, call and write some old and dear friends and family! Danielle, hunker down and read some good books! Danielle, do some of those household projects you want to do! But I have noticed a sad pattern and that is my intentions remain just that - intentions. And another pattern emerges: I am just a way happier person in June, July and August. I would not say I am depressed or that I suffer from a major case of SAD during winter. It is just I don't have it in me during the long Minnesota winter months to do anything "extra." I spend time and have fun with my beloved best friend, JVD, I work hard and have fun at work, I muster any extra motivation to stay "healthy" by exercising. Aside from things that are "scheduled" in advance on my calendar, I rarely feel compelled to call a friend, arrange an impromptu outing, "do" much of anything on a whim. The warm summer months transform my attitude and outlook of life. I feel a swell of energy return just by being able to sit outside in warmth surrounded by green plants and colorful flowers. I am a happier person when winter ends. And so defines my love/hate relationship with Minnesota. Love the "life" it has afforded JVD and I....love the people we have met and befriended....love the work I do here....REALLY love the beauty and fun that comes with the summer months...just wish those months stretched out a lot longer than they do. And so, I lament this end of April, 2008. I lament the snow and the cold. I lament the lack of flora and fauna and the buds that have yet to emerge and bloom. Oh, how I need a good dose of Spring.

Revelation

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:00:17 GMT

How does God reveal His "will" to people? What do you do if you feel like God is revealing one thing to you but it seems like others are ignoring all the "signs" ?? I cannot profess to know the mind or heart of God. I do not. But I seem to regularly have feelings and inklings about an array of different things that somehow prove to be true and I keep wondering why that is.

In response to something awkward that transpired today - to quote the one and only Avril Lavigne (a.k.a. queen of teen "angst"):

"Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"

There's something so wonderfully cathartic about that line. Go Avril.

Life

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 16:55:49 GMT

In the past week someone I know died and a couple I know is getting divorced. And I just feel sad. How can I not? As I have blogged before, life is about the unexpected but I just hate how life entails so much loss and sadness. I know God is good - even in the midst of such sadness - sometimes it's just difficult to see it.

Death

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 20:31:09 GMT

I found out today that someone I know is dying. I do not know this person very well. I can probably count on my one hand the number of conversations we have had. But, I am sad just the same. Have you ever met someone who just seemed to exemplify and emulate the love and joy of God? This is how I would describe this person. He was always sweet to say hello to me and thank me for any help I provided. He has been battling cancer and the cancer seems to be winning. He may only have 2 weeks to live. And all I can think is how hard and unfair life is sometimes. I believe there is life after death, but death is so hard to deal with sometimes.

Running

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:39:51 GMT

I never considered myself a runner.....that is until a few years ago when my dermatologist was checking out my moles and freckles, looked at my calloused feet and said, "You must be a runner." Apparently you can tell a person is a regular runner by those lovely callouses.

I remember being shocked by her comment. Me? A runner? Danielle? Who never played a competitive sport in High School....who is uncoordinated and klutzy...who never in a million years would catagorize herself as an athlete?

Yet, I remember fondly the day six years ago when my friend Jen, who ran track in high school, asked if I would be interested in running a St. Patrick's Day 4 mile race. By then, I had officially started dating JVD.....who happened to have just finished running his first marathon a few days prior to our first date. I was dating a runner. A marathoner, no less. If he could run 26.2, then surely I could run 4?

I happened to be 25 years old...on the cusp of turning 26. I had this distinct moment of realization, when contemplating this 4 mile race, that if I could not run 4 miles at age 26, I probably would never run 4 miles in my life. So, I started running. Or, jogging is probably a more apt description. :) I remember running my first mile. 1 mile. After struggling through that first mile I thought there would be no way I could run 4. But, slowly and surely, one foot in front of the other, I began to run 1 mile. Then 2. Then 3. Then 4! With each passing month...with each passing year....those miles have become easier to run. Don't get me wrong, running is not always easy nor enjoyable. There are days I just feel too wiped out and most days my body tells me it would rather do other things....like maybe sitting on the couch and eating some warm baked chocolate chip cookies. There are days that I set out to run, mysterious cramps and pains take over, and running becomes the least enjoyable activity in the entire world. But, then, every so often, I experience a day like yesterday and today.....

The sky is blue. The sun is shining brightly. The snow is melting. I step outside, turn on my ipod, and complete freedom and joy take hold as I place one foot in front of the other on the path around the lakes. Cheesy as it may sound, I feel like a Nike Commercial in the making. And a revelation of sorts unfolds within me.

"I am Danielle. I am soon to be 32 years old and I really like who I am! Hey, look at me, all you people sharing the path with me! I am alive and healthy. Life is good. God is good! Can life get any better than this?"

All this transpires during a 5 mile run.

And this is precisely the reason why I continue to run.

Truly, I am amazed by the power within my little 5 foot frame....that the non-athlete I always assumed I was has managed to run every few days these past six years, completing 2 half marathons AND the feat of 26.2. Through running, I have experienced glimpses of what Paul the Apostle means when he says, let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us and Run in such a way as to get the prize. It is a tangible reminder of what it means to take hold of this life God has given us, to keep pressing on even when you don't feel like it, that seemingly unattainable goals can be achieved. Persevere! And every once in awhile, a day comes along like today......when confidence and peserverance throws off those darn shackles of doubt, fear and dissatisfaction.

So, nearly 6 years after my first one mile run, I now can say: "Yes, I am a runner."

And, whatever it is you have never imagined or thought or dreamed to be possible for you.... I can voice from experience, anything is possible. Just put one foot in front of the other and head towards that finish line. You can do it!

creepy

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 22:45:28 GMT

John Travolta, committed Scientologist, always has that dazed far off look in his eyes....he seems almost alien-like. If I turn on the TV and John Travolta is on screen - I can't help but get a strong feeling in my gut that there is something kind of off about him. And Tom Cruise? Likewise. I just watched the infamous Tom Cruise Scientology video.

http://gawker.com/5002269/the-cruise-indoctrination-video-scientology-tried-to-suppress

It is just plain weird. You can't make this stuff up. Some would say, "what's the big deal?" The big deal for me is that I have a strong aversion for anything that veers WAY OFF from what is true in this world....and anything which decidely causes its followers to have robotic responses and reflexes....in Stepford Wive-ish ways. I have the same feelings about Mormonism - which is why I find Mitt Romney to be creepy, too. Mitt stands in front of a podium and all I can think about is the fact that he wears holy undergarments and that I am forbidden from entering the Temple where he worships and he believes he will be prince of his own planet some day. Creepy.

Likewise, there are extremists in any religion which spout out their beliefs in ways that lack heart and feeling and seem rote and rehearsed. Such as some who worship the same Jesus I do....or say they do at least..... Somehow I am on a mailing for some church or ministry that is striving to have a world wide impact. Usually I throw the letter in the recycling. Last week I actually decided to open and read it. Big mistake. The first thing that jumped out at me was a call to arms - It went something like this....."We must strive to elect people into office who value human life! 1,000,000 + babies are murdered every year by abortionists. We must stop those murders from killing God's most precious Creation." I don't know about you but I see a Jesus who cares about the women who find themselves contemplating an abortion....I see a Jesus who is filled with compassion and deep sadness over the impact of such a decision. To call such women "murderers?" Goodness. I read such lines and I have the same sinking feeling in my gut that I get when I watch the Tom Cruise video.

I don't know where I am going with this except that there's a lot of creepy stuff out there. Some if it is obvious, like Scientology. Some if it is more covert, like Mormonism. Sadly, a good deal of it is derived from the auspices of my own religious beliefs.....but I know one thing. The Jesus I read about in the Bible? I've never found Him to be creepy. The words he would speak to individuals and crowds? Sometimes cryptic, but never creepy. He just seems so real and I suppose it is because He is the real deal. I guess in a world filled with creeps...creepy Scientologists, creepy Mormons, and yes, creepy Christians, I just hope people are able to see a non-creepy, ever amazing, awe-inspiring, compassionate and strong - Jesus.